Why I Quit Being a Social Media Influencer

After years of building up an Instagram following, I quit.

About five years ago, I created a fashion and lifestyle blog. I made my own website and would post my #ootd and write fluffy articles about how I am “totally obsessed with this dress!”

I would post on Instagram twice a day and coming up with content was exhausting. I put so much effort into supporting my blog and it became all I thought about.

What is was like:

In the beginning, every weekend, my best friend and I would drive around the city and find the perfect “grammable” locations for a photo shoot. She would take my pictures on her iPhone and in between I would do outfit changes in the car.

We would always go to really cool, beautiful places so she said she didn’t mind taking a few (I mean hundreds) of pictures. She has so many pictures of me on her phone and sometimes when we get together we go through them and laugh hysterically at how insanely into this I was.

I spent my days looking for the perfect, most stylish outfits for my weekend photoshoots. What was I doing spending my hard-earned paychecks on clothing?! Looking back, I should have been saving. The items I was buying were totally unnecessary.

I started working with photographers, hair and makeup artists, clothing boutiques, and other city locals. It was stressful and exhausting. Getting up at 6 AM on a weekend to get the best lighting and drive to the perfect location. Rain, snow, or shine.

The winter months were the hardest. Trying to make a lightweight sweater look chic in a winter wonderland. Freezing my butt off. I told myself this is what it would take to get the most insta-worthy pic that would get more likes than my last pic.

About a year later and thousands of followers later, I started getting paid by brands. I would get paid to promote their product and create content for them to repost. It was pretty cool that I was finally profiting from something that took so much effort to build.

A couple of years into this whole thing, the influencer market became extremely saturated. It got competitive. The Instagram algorithm also changed so it was harder to gain followers organically and get a massive amount of likes.

I started to beat myself up emotionally and compare myself to other influencers. If my pictures didn’t get enough likes or comments, the negative self-talk would start. If people unfollowed me, it would crush me.

When I went on vacations, I spent most of my time scouting out places I could “do it for the gram” and then would annoy the crap out of my husband to take 50 pictures of me. Sometimes I would get SO annoyed when he wouldn’t get the perfect angle or the lighting was bad. It would ruin my day if I didn’t get the perfect picture to showcase my perfect life that wasn’t actually perfect.

What happened:

Last year, I lost interest. I stopped posting as much, I stopped caring about likes, I lost followers (and didn’t care), I started to put my phone down more and enjoy the moment. There was still some pressure lingering but it was nowhere near where it used to be.

I realized that it would be almost impossible to keep growing especially with my lack of interest and motivation. I canceled my website domain and Wordpress subscription and stopped working with brands. I even changed my Instagram handle to disconnect from my blogging life.

A few weeks ago, I was down in the desert camping in a remote location with no cell reception or Wifi. I didn’t look at my Instagram for a few days and I had never felt more content or happy. I didn’t care about getting the perfect gram picture and just let my mind go and tried to stay in the moment. For a change, I took candid pictures of friends on the hikes and tried to capture what the moment was like.

It seemed silly that one app had so much control over my life. I couldn’t even remember what life was like before Instagram.

On the drive back I was reflecting a lot about what to do next with my Instagram account. Honestly, I wanted to delete it but knew I would miss it too much. I deactivated it for about 4 days and was having withdrawals. Yes, withdrawals from social media is a thing.

What it’s like now:

In the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, my priorities and interests have changed. In my opinion, it also seems a little pathetic to post how amazing life is and #outfitgoals! Everyone is struggling, everyone is trying to navigate through this hard time, everyone is hurting in some way.

My feed is also filled with things like, “Stay at home”, “Wash your hands”, “RIP Coachella” “Life is so hard”, “I miss my friends.” It’s the harsh reality of what is going on. I miss seeing people’s weddings, vacations, babies, and other positive fun stuff. It seems that if you are passing milestones people can’t be happy for you or don’t even notice since there are so many other big issues going on in the world.

I finally decided to do something I never thought I would do. I deleted all my followers except for the people I knew personally and turned my account to private. GASP!! What? This would have been incomprehensible even a month ago.

I also unfollowed people I didn’t know personally and only follow accounts that bring me quality content I am interested in.

Since making this decision, I feel a lot more content and less anxious. I don’t spend as much time on social media and try to fill my time with other things. Puzzles and reading have helped me limit screentime and also seem to positively impact my mental health.

Quitting social media influencing did not happen overnight. It was a process and it was worth it. I feel so much more free, content, and happy!